Sunday, January 31, 2010 . 8:03 PM
Yea...Today IS officially my birthday
Yet I dont feel anything for it
I mean I dun feel today is my birthday at all
It seems like birthday isn't that important to me alrdy
My 17th birthday is gonna end plainly
And I'm not gonna do any changes
Not anymore...
Not gonna let others know bout it
And nver intend to in future
I'm really very touched by those people who still rmbs my birthday
I'll never forget u peoples' birthday too!
Haha! 아자 아자 화이팅!
Although my 17th birthday just ends out this way... But I'm alrdy too content with the way it is right now. I wont expect it to have more in future.I've learned not to be greedy anymore. From today onwards, I'm 1 more year older now. And I've learned how to make use of my own life. A new beginning and a new life has just begun... I shall not stand still anymore, it's time for me to start moving... expecting for the unexpected...
Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Saturday, January 30, 2010 . 7:01 PM
Nearly had a car accident while crossing the road todayI thought I was late for the ceremony to get Merit Bursary Award
It's not the first time already
Evrytime I nearly got knocked down by a vehicle, I always felt how lucky I was
And I always blamed myself for being so reckless...
As if I didnt treasue my own life in the first place
Well, since its over
This should be my nth lesson ( forgotten the no. of lessons learn, so put it in the nth term)
Aaaah.... it's so embarrassing
I cried yesterday in front of my ART teacher
I went over emotional yesterday!!
Till I couldnt control myself
Recently felt that I couldnt control my emotions
What is happening???
Well...
Gotta start studying Chemistry
I havent even start anything yet
Maybe I'm going to flunk some of my Common test subjects
Too busy for household chores!
Aaaaah.... Why isn't common test after Chinese New Year?!
Study Study!~
I shall not take this lightly!
Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010 . 5:02 PM
Today was tired in school...Well, I'm not gonna talk bout wad happen today
Just wanna say that recently felt strange bout Aaron
Suddenly asked me bout his tie which he's so concerned bout it if it's not in the proper place on some Monday morn
Doing weird things that I find it really weird and suspicious
Maybe I'm being oversensitive
And Farhan kept talking to me bout Aaron
But well... I didnt care much bout that
Felt boring bout English lessons these days
I cant really get use to Ms Tham's way of teaching
Preferred Ms Chong's lesson
Glad that Common Test didnt test on so many topics
If not I'm gonna study till I'll go crazy over all the topics
This year will be a different year, and I'm gonna treat all my tests seriously
화이팅!! Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Monday, January 25, 2010 . 8:11 PM
最近一直常常和 Sheryl 谈谈星座的东西，让我忽然想起我曾经喜欢过的一位朋友。是阿，一对同一个星座的情侣在一起的话，是不可能的。
但是再回想一下，现在好像是没什么好留恋的。
我到底喜欢他什么？仔细地想，真的是没什么好喜欢的。
已经把他当成是个普通的朋友了。
虽然他曾经伤害过我，他也什么都不知道，像个井底之蛙似的
但是那都已经是过去了，也没什么好计较的。
喜欢他，他却什么都不知道。
我没打算向他告白，他对我也没这个意思
就算万一有一天，他突然喜欢上我，我也没有这个打算要准备接受他。
知道水平座是最怕被爱情拒绝的，我就该离他远一点。
就算以后被他发现我曾经暗恋过他，我也无所谓。
都过了两年了，事情也都已经结束了。
再也不会后悔或什么的。
爱情这种东西，我已经彻底的放弃了。
我无法再有那样的信心了，已经对爱情失去了信心了
还没正式地开始过，就已经说要放弃的人，真是很可笑吧...?
不管到了哪里，我都会坚强地活着
生命力少了一些东西，也无所谓。
感到孤独，也无所谓
只想实现我想要实现的愿望，回到我原本的 “家”
再叫声“ 娘！我回来了！” Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Sunday, January 24, 2010 . 6:43 PM
Recently felt myself being too "polluted"having nasty tempers and being sort of impolite sometimes
In my head is always full of other thoughts
I couldnt concentrate in class event though I had enough sleep in class
Lack of some information and instructions frm the teachers
Sometimes feeling stress, sometimes worry
What have really become of me?
I simply just couldnt understand myself
Sometimes being alone, all the thoughts and evrything flush into my mind
Sometimes I would feel that I'm lacking of smth
Looking at the other girls, having "someone" beside them, walking together
It really made me curious bout it:
If I wish I knew who would be walking right beside me in a few years later...
Would I find him a nuisance because he always stalks me too much?
What kind of guy is he?
Will he be a Gemini or a Libra?
Or maybe not what I've expected to be?
Right now I'm currently in love with Kim Hyun Joong
Not really in love, but just admiration
I don't idolize him, but I envy him
Talented, Good-looking, Humorous and most of all see "love" more important than his career
Honestly, he's my ideal type
But it's impossible for him to be guy
LOLs!
Sometimes walking home alone along the long corridor way, I would imagine him walking right beside me
It feels good to be imaginative :)
But sometimes it made me wonder
Would I met someone like Kim Hyun Joong?
Or someone very similar to him?
If he finally appeared, would we be fated to be together...?
Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 . 9:49 PM
I've never been as serious as today beforeNow that I've realized that I have too much to learn
I finally know what the word "busy" means
Now that i've also know that spending my time in facebook and internet is a waste of time
That I even realised that I dont even have the time to "eat"
Too many homework not yet completed
Not because I kept idling or playing
It's just the time that I didnt have enough
Have to postpone some homework to other days
But how I wish I could finish evrything in one go
But my sleep time was always as early as usual
I have to sleep punctually, so that I wont be so tired the next day
Full schedule...
Although too full to fill in any spaces, but I still like the way it is
I felt it more enriching.
It's much more realistic than I thought
Studying with Fang Tian at the library wasn't such a bad idea too
I can finish my homework there
And revise my stuff at home
I will still hang on
After attending the "Excellent Mindset" talk
I'm more clear of what I'm doing now
And I've learn many things from the talk
Got to go do my work
Still have other things to do...
The difference between the possible and the impossible lies in a person's determination
Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Sunday, January 17, 2010 . 8:56 PM
Yea.It seems like I'm onlining everyday...
Well... kinda crazy bout Kim Hyun Joong
LOL!
Went to watch all his videos last night
and realized that he has changed a lot
Today while chatting with Marcus
The topic about "Yu Feng's birthday" reminded me of mine
Sad emotions and memories start to fill in my mind again
Well, I dont really expect much this year
And I dont expect smth nice or gd in return
It's a very sad thing that people doesnt seem to remember my birthday
I use to wonder and doubt my own birthday that "was it just so hard to remember when it falls at the last day of January?"
Or maybe becos it falls in the January that it's just too early to remember?
Every year looking at my sis's birthday presents with full of envy
It's not bout the presents, but the heart
Like ppl seems to rmb hers but mine is being forgotten
Well, I find no point in saying it now
and I dun really celebrate it anymore
I dun expect anything much, jus a wish of "Happy Birthday" will do
That's only what I ask for...
Is that too much...?
Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Saturday, January 16, 2010 . 12:28 PM
Just scolded my bro offHe kept using the comp everyday
And has become a computer addict
Kept mapling non-stop
Cant even use the comp when I wanted to
I was very anxious just now
I was so worried that my schedule would be affected when my stubborn little bro doesn't wanna make way for me
I scolded him off for that
And I was so worried and afraid that I realized how 'time' is important to me right now
What 'Time' has become in my heart
How precious it is
I am afraid of my future
I'm not confident enough face it
becos my future will depend on what I do now
I must be confident and I need to
I have to do it no matter what... Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Thursday, January 14, 2010 . 5:43 PM
I've finally making things out right againI've realized so many things
With my poor time management, I really dont know what to do and how to do it
But I'll figure that out myself
Things still didnt seem progress
I'm still slowing down
I cant afford the time to do that now
I HAVE to wake up everyday
I cant relax, and I couldnt afford to
I'm starting to worry bout things again
Retaking English and Chinese again
Since I got B4 for chinese again
Really made me went mad about it
I've got a B3 in English
It's gd that I'm still on track
At least I know where do I stand now
Although I'm expecting an A2 for it
I cant slow down
And I cant accelerate too fast
or things would go out of control
Step-by-step, that's what I would always tell myself
Thinking of strategies and plans
I have to do smth bout it
And I'm not going to touch Computer anymore
Work harder, Play smarter
Jia You! You can do it!
Dont worry! Nth would go wrong if you're always consistent
Cheers to "CONSISTENCY"
화이팅!!!
Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Saturday, January 9, 2010 . 7:27 PM
Maybe this year I shouldn't hang out with ScorpiosIt seems like my relationship with Fang Tian's seems to get worse all the time
I've read about this year's Scorpios relationship with Aquarius
It says that this year we're gonna having many arguments
I think it actually seems quite right to me
Maybe I shouldn't stay with her anymore
Currently, its showing some bad signs between us
It's like I'm afraid of her knowing about something
But when I come to think of it
I couldnt figure out what was it
And she seems to be the same way
As if she's afraid of me knowing about her strategies or smth
We both are always very suspicious
But honestly, I didnt really want to hide frm her or smth
If she wanted me to teach her, I'll be very willing to do it
If she really did better than me academically, I'm really happy for her
It's not that I'm scared that she'll surpass me or smth
Just that I'm still trying to change
Trying to be unselfish
Trying to be generous
I'm really sry to her after the call just now
For saying those really stupid things to her
I felt idiotic for disturbing her
And I promise I wont ever do it again
Well...
Maybe I'm just too afraid that everyone around me has already started their own plans
while I was the one left behind still laid back behind doing nothing :(
Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Friday, January 8, 2010 . 6:00 PM
Today had another motivational talk with Mr Lim & Mr TanI realized I had so much things to do
Yet still sitting here and blog
LOL!
Yea...
just wanted to clarify some things here...
OKAY!
first of all, I wanted to say sry to Peter
That day when we were having class on Sunday
I was really surprised that Peter came!
Then he was also surprised that I grew taller again
Haha...
His reaction was as usual...
Very big reaction as expected XD
And I think he was actually talking to me
But I didnt respond back to him
But when I observed his face, trying to read him
He was kind of feeling dejected...
So I felt sry becos I ignored him
Not becos I did on purpose
But I didnt actually realized that he was actually speaking to me becos during that time, my mind was full of thoughts
So I was feeling a little bad...
But it didnt really matter much
And there was this tea gathering on wed nite
Actual purpose was his farewell party
But I didnt attend becos I needed to rush my homework
But that nite interestingly I dreamt of him
Dreamt of myself apologising to him personally for not attending the gathering
Funny.
Next, O level results releasing on nxt mon at 2PM!
LOL!
I'm looking forward to it so that I could know whether or not I should drop POA
And I could even know where my English standard stands
English is very important to me now
I'm glad that the English teachers are preparing us now by using another special method that they thought of
Lastly, 2010 O Art topics releasing on next mon too
Really scared.
thinking of last year's batch
I'm afraid I'll end up like them
After the topics are released, there'll be so many things to do by then
So have to clear every homework I have now by Sunday
So that I could really start my work the nxt week XD
I'll not online for a period of time
It's crucial this year
So I'll always be at my best
Doing whatever I could
No matter what happens, I'll persevere till the end
It seems like I've forgotten "Consistency"
Thx to Mr Lim and Mr Tan for reminding
I'll always carry it around with me XD Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010 . 3:01 PM
Today finally woke up frm my dreamsWhen Ms Lee talked bout grp study
I have been thinking bout many many things
My head was full of information
Had to analyse out later so that I can plan for nxt week
Well... Today finally get to eat rice again
LOL!
Ever since the school's vegetarian stall had closed down
I had to only depend on the snack stall for bread and biscuits
It's really boring and nth much to eat
Thinking of the food in lot 1 is much better and tastier XD
Well... today went home along the way
I saw a teenager helping a partially disabled auntie cross over the traffic light
At first I thought they were related
After crossing to the other end
I realised that she and the auntie are not related at all
Looking at the way she helped her, it was amazing
She cared and concerned for her
I was looking at her in admiration
I told myself that nxt time I would want to be like her
Always offer to help others when they are having difficulties
Gotta do my homework
They are piling up now...
If I dont clear them now, I'll soon be off the track! Her voices... Where her HEART is...
Sunday, January 3, 2010 . 4:59 PM
Welcoming the new year of 2010!!LOL!
Leave the sad memories behind 2009 and the bring in happiness to 2010
Yea.
A year have just passed
Time really flies fast
I'm not gonna repeat those silly mistakes again
And I'm not going stand still either
I'm gonna make a difference this year
I'm not going to be as weak as before
And I'm not going to allow my tears to flow out the way they want
I'm not going to depend on others as well
It's time for me to learn to be independent
I have my rights to choose how to live my way of life
No more of criticizing
No more of complaints
How this world leads to so many sufferings
I need to play my part in educating...
No more of sleeping in class
and no more of arrogance and gossips
Everything in my hand, I'll create harmony and peace
I'll always be at my best
And perseverance will pull me away from giving up
No matter what happens, I shall never give up
Cos there will always be a solution to everything
I shall not online after school reopens
Maybe sometimes I would visit every once a week
But I know this time, it's really crucial
And it's my only last chance
Live in the present, and plan for the future
Although I'm still feeling scared, unsure of what I would become
Unsure if I would succeed or not
But I know that if I dun worry much and keep persevering till the end
I know that I'll overcome that obstacle
Everyone will always have their first time :D
We dont wait for opportunities to come, but we seek for opportunities.
Her voices... Where her HEART is...