Tuesday, March 23, 2010 . 9:31 PM
Maybe I'll try to avoid her as much as possibleI'll try not to make such promises with her again
I wont even expect much from her again
Sometimes I really felt Fang Tian like...
Like she's afraid of me surpassing her one day
Like she's never really treat me like her friend
not at least a good or a close friend
Maybe I have mistreated her many times before?
I wonder if I did so... and I think I should have, maybe a few times
But I didnt really mean it if I ever did...
Sometimes I really wonder how she felt about me
I did actually asked her how she felt bout me
But when she had to answer my question, she didnt really gave me an answer
Instead of giving me, "you arh... I never really go and think bout it"
I mean it's okay that she cant give me an answer
but the thing is, why is she so good bout telling me bout what kind of person that person really is like and yet when it comes to "how does she think of me"
Yet she cant give me a specific answer?
If she doesnt really like me
then just say it out
I rather she told me bout what she really think of me rather than just beating round the bush or keep giving me some stupid excuses
I really hate it when she always changes her plans and decisions in the last min
I mean if u really dun wanna turn up for the date or u dun feel like turning up for the date
THEN JUST SAY IT OUT!
I really hate it when u beat around the bush!
It's not the first time alrdy
But it's still ur own decision...
And sometimes, I cant help it but got a little frustrated sometimes
But recently, I have been mean towards her
It's really frustrating that Fang Tian sometimes cant keep her promises
And Meilin was also starting to be like her
Maybe it's really bothering me, that's why I've been being too direct with her that I started saying mean stuffs to her
AND also to the others, offending ppl
But I TRULY DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY
Just trying to vent out some anger in me
After all the tears, reflections
I think maybe in some ways, I was wrong towards her before
But all that was in the past
Today what happened in school was also alrdy the past
No matter what happens, if you're still alive, LIFE STILL HAS TO GO ON
After so much of reflections these few days
I think I should back out for a while
Maybe I was being a little too selfish
Maybe a little too greedy
Maybe a little too self-centered
and a little too oversensitive
I wont expect much from her anymore
Neither from Meilin too
I could only say, now I would only take her words as 50:50 chance of promise
I couldnt really fully trust in her words anymore
Thanks to Marcus for cheering me up just now
that I spill out all the beans that even tears came out rolling out too
Sometimes it's good to have some guy friends
Sometimes girls are really too sensitive
I'm a GIRL TOO! I KNOW THAT!
But I prefer guys sometimes, they are much more better than girls
Instead of looking at their annoyed faces, I rather hang out with some guy friends
Gossiping here and there... sometimes it can be really too much!
I'm not being sarcastic, just stating what I actually thought and felt bout it...
Her voices... Where her HEART is...