Tuesday, May 4, 2010 . 11:18 PM
Today felt kind of weird...Fang Tian and Maureen doesnt seem to bother bout me
it's ok for me, I dun mind
But it seems that Marcus too, also kinda doesnt bother bout me anymore
Well...
I dunno why it felt kind of weird, he usually doesnt act like that
Maybe I'm being oversensitive?
He doesnt speak the usual way as he always did to me
Some how I felt he's like kinda detesting me in his heart, like someone told him smth bad bout me
or maybe I'm overreacting??
Or maybe he's changing...??
Or I'm the one who's changing and starting to take things for granted again??
Well... it's ok if he doesnt bother bout me anymore
If he really doesnt bother bout me anymore
Then I'll shall treat him the same way as he does
Yea.
Sometimes I should have to do things alone
Cant always depend on them
Maybe keeping away from them is better
Let time mend up it's holes
Am I being too naive???
Always thought how friends should be treating each other
Or I'm just too loyal for a friend???
Sometimes really dont know whether to treat someone truly good
Hesitating, it really is sick!
God said that we must love our enemies
But sometimes it's just too hard
when u tried loving them, tried being truly nice to them
Yet they do some things to hurt ur heart
It gets painful sometimes...
I know this world is very realistic
AND so WHAT!!?
I must also be VERY REALISTIC LIKE THE OTHERS?
WHY SHOULD I FOLLOW THE OTHERS??
I HAVE MY OWN RIGHTS TO LIVE MY LIFE
EVEN IF IT COST MY LIFE..
I STILL WANNA BE TRUE TO THE OTHERS...
I dont believe in "no conscience" in people's heart...
Well, maybe this is a test from god
I have to find some ways to endure...
Everything has it's own resolutions...
Maybe I'm starting to get greedy again...
Once I've started it, God would be bringing in Justice again
It's hard. But I have to try.
REALLY TIRED.
Maybe being off ALONE is better than having so many things to worry and fret about... Her voices... Where her HEART is...
