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Monday, July 26, 2010 . 10:17 PM

What happened to me?
I feel like I'm not me at all...

When I listened to one of Kelly Clarkson's songs again
The song made me qn myself
"Am I who I used to be"
OR
"have I changed?"

An extract from Kelly Clarkson's Addicted:

"It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now"

After this whole "Cant get it, what are they thinking...?!" stuffs that happened months and months ago
I feel like I'm not the one who I use to be myself anymore
My sis told me that ppl change when they have a "someone" by their side
I think I'm becoming more like a retard!
OMG!

Somehow I think I'm crazy now
TOO CRAZY I guess...
It's not about the mistakes that I made
It's of cos embarrassing
But it's not the problem that's bothering me...

I think the problem lies in me
I think I'm comparing myself to "HER"
To that "J Yip girl"
Yea. I know that sounds REALLY STUPID
I am alrdy a retard!
And that's how I come up with stupid things right now

I dont know why since when I've become soooo NEGATIVE
I can even feel myself being sooo NEGATIVE
I can feel I've been a little too straight-forward recently
I just speak without even thinking thoroughly
And I was wondering was it becos of HIS influence

Sounds like a "virus"
Spreading onto me
Now I'm having all the symptoms and side effects
Plus...
I feel there's a small generation gap between us
Problems communicating with each other

I'll go: "What was he thinking man?! I cant understand him! "
"Does he even understand what I'm thinking?!"

And I think he'll goes: "I cant understand her! "
" She cant understand what I'm thinking... Forget it..."

"It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now"

I'm lost
I'm giving up slowly
I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
"And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now
"

Sometimes I even wonder... Should I give up?
Give up to become my own self back again...

Tired of becoming more and more like HIM as time passes!

Her voices... Where her HEART is...
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