Tuesday, September 14, 2010 . 8:38 PM
Yesterday was indeed a special day...Meilin and I came late for English lesson
Ended up sitting beside him.
I wasnt feeling good actually.
Though I offered him a sticky candy
Yet I was feeling exhausted, dwelling in melancholy...
Back from school, headache finally fall upon me
It's gd enough that I managed to watch an Eng film to de-stress myself
That night was the night I'll always remember
It was a night that I eventually ended up crying in front of my family members, my father and my sister
I knew I had to cry
Because that's the main reason to why I'm having my headache
I felt like vomiting...
I was thinking if I could vomit out...
That would even made me feel better
It was pathetic.
It's been long ever since I get to cry like that
That was the most heartrending state the I ever gone to but yet was comforting enough
It's a new record that I've ever broke in my whole life.
The longest time I've ever suppressed my sad feelings, that just went exploded in just a few mins
It wasnt good at all
Neither am I.
Today brought swollen eyes to school
I knew I couldnt run away from Meilin's eyes
Fang Tian knew it too
But she didnt say a word
My eyes are obviously swollen
they looked sad in the morning when I woke up
I was shocked to see it too.
The first time my eyes got so swollen because of tears
Yet I was really happy, smiling away this morning
Contradicting arent I?
Aftr last nite's comfort frm my sis, who listened to my cries the whole night
I am fine now.
Feel much relief and lighter
I think he too, sensed smth was wrong with me
Though he didnt said anything
Yet I guess he knew smth wasnt right about me
Last nite aftr my tears
I dreamt I visited his hse again
I guess I'm being too wishful for his comfort and consolation
I didnt want to bother bout him now
I guess it was a little over the line
I'm trying hard just to treat him as my good friend
Its good enough if he's just happy by himself
instead of brooding over worthless things that he shouldnt be
which is none of his business
Having so much pressure, I'm sure many of my friends knew the reason why
It was indeed a tough subject
I could have chosen POA instead
Yet I didnt.
It will be filled with full of challenges and also struggles as well
Yet I still chooses Art as my subject
But one thing for sure is that I've never regretted taking this subject
I was grateful instead
Grateful because it made me knew what REAL pressure was
Grateful because it made me realized the importance of how other subjects meant to me as well
Grateful because it made me understand why I should do well for my English
Grateful because it made me discover my own talents and passion for Art
Grateful because I had wonderful teachers guiding me and teaching me things that I never knew
Grateful because it made me who I am today
Though there will still be more struggles to pull through in future
I know what is coming soon for me
But it's okay
I'll pull through, even if its hard...
Since its inevitable, I shall enjoy the process to the fullest then!
Her voices... Where her HEART is...
