Wednesday, November 10, 2010 . 11:25 PM
I'm scared.I'm scared initially...
Thought of viewing his twitter account aftr Os...
but ended up viewing it just now
Sounds like a stalker. Yea. I know.
Sounds like an idiot? Yea. I know that as clearly as anybody else.
Now I finally get it.
I'm alrdy gone.
Long long time ago.
Naively thinking, foolishly thinking...
Maybe he was referring to me after all...
I was wrong all the time.
Realizing that I'm not as important to someone as I always thought
I've alrdy disappeared in his vision, for decades i guess...
Well...
Clearly understood.
I'm clear now.
This speaks everything...
Everything that I wanna know
Frankly speaking, I'm not okay now
Edward would always be the first one to ask about me.
Truly appreciated and grateful to him
Really glad to know him :)
I'm not okay now, feels bad.
At least much better than before, than 25th Sept.
Disappointed. Disheartened. Depressed.
Same usual words...
Only such words that could describe how it feels like...
YOU asked me what happened?
Like I would tell YOU.
YOU really wanna know?
Then YOU should ask urself WHY DID THIS HAPPENED?
Do YOU think I have the mood to CHEER UP FOR YOU NOW?
IF I told YOU how I actually felt, WOULD IT CHANGE EVERYTHING?
YOU KNOW WHY I STILL COULDNT GET OVER YOU?
IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S SO MANY ??? IN MY HEAD...
I wanna ask:
Why do YOU have to tell me that YOU had a crush on me in the first place?
Then why do YOU have to act like YOU cared for me all along...?
And why do YOU even wanna know things that got to do with me when the person YOU see is NOT ME?
Why do YOU get to complain how YOU feel all along when it should be ME, who SHOULD be complaining bout how I feel all along?
Do YOU even know what is LOVE?
Yea. I know I dont.
At least I know urs is not...
And YOU could even call that LOVE?
Unreasonable. Ridiculous. Absurd.
Now everything has come to light.
I have nothing to lose anymore...
Thanks for wasting my precious time on you.
My birthday gift to you.
The drawing of ur dogs...
Will be the first, and the last gift.
Yea.YOU would didnt even bother to ask me how long do I spent on drawing this...
YOU didnt.
I thought YOU always feel insignificant around with me.
I guess I'm much more worse in ur eyes.
Invisible? What a Great Word to describe...
I guess I'm was anticipating too much.
Thanks for millions of times.
If I could, how I wish I wouldnt see YOU anymore
Not even stay in contact.
Disappointed.
This could describe everything.
The last time was truly disappointed with tears
This time round was disappointed with fury
So sorry to say, but YOU'VE ALRDY PROVED ME THAT YOU ARENT EVEN WORTH THAN A SINGLE TEARDROP
YOU always thought that YOU'RE the only one who speaks bluntly and DIRECT to others?
Sad to say, YOU'RE WRONG.
Yea. WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
YOU dont know a single thing.
And YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO KNOW A SINGLE THING AT ALL.
Yea.
I know I'm a fool.
I've BEEN a fool.
And many many thanks for that!
FOR YOU.
Her voices... Where her HEART is...
